You decide.
Here's the thing. For as long as I can remember, I've gotten a terrific rush from writing - except not really. The rush comes from the beginning of the creative process, the better-than-drugs euphoria that accompanies a new story idea or a solution to a particularly thorny plot or motivation obstacle.
But like with any drug, the euphoria wears off. That's when creative lethargy settles in.
A similar scenario sets in when I'm anticipating large blocks of time to write. The anticipation is exhilarating. My enthusiasm knows no bounds and I can't wait to get started. Until I have the time. And then - the blahs set in. At this point, I'd clean rather than sit in front of the computer.
So what does this all mean? Well - either I'm a struggling writer, I'm lazy, or I'm a realist who is lowering her expectations. If the last seems confusing, consider this article in the Economist called Mild and Bitter: The Evolutionary Origin of Depression with a subtitle: Depression may be linked to how willing someone is to give up his goals.
Here's a brief excerpt:
Dr Nesse’s hypothesis is that, as pain stops you doing damaging physical things, so low mood stops you doing damaging mental ones—in particular, pursuing unreachable goals. Pursuing such goals is a waste of energy and resources. Therefore, he argues, there is likely to be an evolved mechanism that identifies certain goals as unattainable and inhibits their pursuit—and he believes that low mood is at least part of that mechanism.
So, does that mean that when I get the blahs each time I sit down to write, it's my subconscious telling me I'll never attain my goals and should go do something useful (like clean the toilet) instead?
Or am I just a procrastinator extraordinaire who always finds the grass in the other pasture greener so if I had to clean that toilet, I'd be lamenting the lost writing time?
What do you think? Not about me, but about the premise of the article.
